Are You Right For Each Other?

We all know what Love is. It’s that warm, fuzzy, erotic, feeling that you can’t be apart. You can’t get enough of each other. You think of being with your love all the time, every place or position conceivable.

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Now hold on there, you hotsy-totsy. It’s time to bring your brain into the mix. You must start that smart motor going, and bring experience, wisdom and intelligence into the future planning between you two. Lust can carry you for a while, but if you’re looking long term, you must;

Consider Critical Compatibility Components, (The Four C’s)

Before we even think about those areas where compatibility must be considered and discussed in depth, let’s first think about what situations can cause relationships to end.

Here are 5 of the top deal breakers for many couples;

 

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1)  Drinking- I’m not talking about having a drink with dinner or an occasional brew with a buddy, I’m talking about Alcoholism. Unless the alcoholic agrees to immediately get sober and bring in the professionals to permanently be cured, this party is over.

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2)  Smoking-Though not as dangerous from a social standpoint, it is a smelly, dangerous, and unhealthy bad habit. It calls for another cold turkey fix or else you, your car and your home will smell like nicotine practically overnight. If you want a relationship with a non-smoker, make them wean off and then stop the smoking, no excuses.

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3)  Religious Differences-From my standpoint, I don’t know how a person of faith can live with an atheist, and of course, vice-versa (religious sheep vs. heathen). It is self-explanatory. Even though it may not come up by mutual agreement, it will eventually rear it’s ugly head and very well could bring on a break-up.

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4)  Political Beliefs-If a full time Fox watcher is involved with a full time MSNBC viewer, it becomes a battlefield for opposing opinions. I don’t know if you have ever tried to reason with someone about their political views, in the hope of  “straightening them out” with what you believe to be the truth? Believe me, it doesn’t work and it never will between a couple on polar opposite sides of the political spectrum.

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5)  Baggage- Unless you have totally leveled with each other about what you are bringing into the relationship with you, future problems are sure to occur. Many people neglect to bring up; painful history, family members, ex-spouses, ex-partners, ex-legal problems (some still yet to be resolved), and other surprises, you are usually doomed for failure, because you “didn’t tell the WHOLE truth.”

Now lets Consider the OTHER Compatibility Components that need to thoroughly be discussed before you commit to be together “until death do us part.” or some other long term arrangement:

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1)  Age-Hefner has been doing it for half a century and many other older men love bumping into a hard body in exchange for access to their life-style and what great wealth can provide. I guess that leaves younger men for older women who can afford a boy-toy. The youngins both “understand” that they are trading off sexual favors for living large. Some guys look at an older woman as a “mommy” figure, and some young girls who grew up without a male in their young lives want to sit on their new daddy’s lap and cuddle. But often when it is a May-December romance, the couples have to learn to accept each others habits, likes/dislikes and be aware of any factors that could ruin their togetherness. The subjects of music, movies and night-life comes immediately to mind. Spend lots of time together first to identify non-compatible preferences and attempt to work them out.

2)  Education-Possibly could cause conflicts of interests especially if they require brain power and intellectual pursuits.

3)  Individual finances- I realize that nowadays, because of women’s equality, the finances work out using this following formula. “His money is theirs, and her money is hers.” If she has the big bucks and the better higher paying career, their financial situation must be resolved before making any type of permanent commitment.

4)  Respect-Aretha Franklin brought that great word into our common lexicon and it is very important how couples honestly respect each other when they are going ahead making plans for their future.

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5)  Psychology-They have to make an in-depth analysis of their future long term partners personality traits and what drives their demons, if any. When in doubt, discuss it at length and bring in professionals, if necessary.

6) Bad Habits-If they bother you, talk about them and try to work on changing them. I know this is a common sense solution, but sometimes common sense is not very common.

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7)  Intimacy-Thank goodness we don’t have to deal with arranged marriages or virgins like the olden days. Today, younger modern women are not waiting to be “fixed-up,” or waiting by the phone to be asked out on a date. Many of their single mothers and grandmothers are still doing it the old fashioned so called “respectful way.” Ladies you’re free and equal, so take the initiative and call a guy that appeals to you to have a drink, or meet for coffee, on you. In terms of intimacy, once  protected and safe from disease or pregnancy, let yourself go. Be involved, proactive and get creative in bed. No time to be shy and demure. Make believe you are making a porno movie, or better yet teach him the wonderful advantages of Tantric intimacy.  Most men don’t know how to make love and how to properly satisfy a woman. All they think about is slam, bam, thank you ma’am.” I got my big O and I’m outta here.” Devi Ward, a top Tantric Sex instructor who interviewed me a few weeks ago about my e-book, told me that a woman’s body is like a large pot being heated by a small flame and a mans body is a small pot heated by a large flame. Pretty soon the mans pot boils over and liquid spews everywhere, but the woman’s body is still warming up. It takes a woman much longer to be ready for sex than a man. Tantric sex teaches us that sex should last for hours. There is no beginning (sexual excitement), middle (penetration), or end (climax). It’s not all about the Orgasm, but about enriching the whole sexual experience, and exploring a new path to sexual fulfillment. Key features of Tantric Sex is the importance of breathing properly, and slowing down sexual behavior. Look up Devi Ward on the Internet or do research into the 1500 year old Indian practice of total fulfillment techniques from other instructors.

Now you have seen there’s much more than just lust involved in creating and enjoying a compatible relationship. Good luck in finding and KEEPING Your Soul-Mate. I would greatly appreciate your input. Just write a comment in the comment box or write me a private e-mail.  savconsulting@yahoo.com

Thanks ,

Marty

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You can also reach me at:   www.twitter.com/martysavarick   or

http://www.facebook.com/101waystotophatingdating    or

http://www.Amazon.com/author/martysavarick

 

 

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Men Are Dogs: So What Else Is New?

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I have to be careful here. I’m not looking forward to see a mob of angry men, carrying torches outside my house because they feel I have become a turncoat. On the other hand, women are saying “Now here’s a guy that gets it.” The guys think I opened up Pandora’s Box by telling women how men are usually lying to them and what they really want from women.

DISCLAIMER:

I have to be careful generalizing about percentages. Very few things encompass all or none, it’s usually a number somewhere in the middle. So I will be careful saying, “Men say….”. You may feel it includes ALL men. Not so! Even by saying “Most men feel….” it’ll mean more than half feel that way. So if I slip up and either imply it is all or even most, just interpose the word ‘many’ when I say “Men feel or act a certain way,” then use the percentages that YOU can live with.

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John Gray wrote, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” in the mid 1990’s. It sold over 50 million copies and was ensconced on the Best Sellers List for 121 weeks. Gray researched and wrote brilliantly about the fundamental psychological differences between the genders. Men claim they offer quick solutions to problems. But women are not satisfied with the solutions, but would prefer to discuss them further. The genders also differ how they respond to stress and stressful situations.

Men often prefer to return to the comfort of their Man-Cave to refresh and review. Women, on the otherhand, want to continue to discuss “it” NOW.

Both genders have preconceived notions about finding a steady date. They also fantasize about their type.

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She says, “I want a tall, thin guy with a full head of hair that dances, is smart, funny and successful, and one who does not need my money.

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He says, “I want sexy, busty, thin, great ass who has her own money for the big things and will fulfill my sexual fantasies day and night.”

If she is lucky to find Mr. Right and he passes the “physical test”, then the personality testing begins. Is he usually kind vs. angry? Is he a talker or mute? Is he willing to do the activity I want to do? If I give in too soon in bed, will he leave me for a bigger challenge? Is he the marrying kind? Would he make a good dad?

He is usually thinking, “Does she like sports? How about playing video games and drinking beer with my buddies? Does she love sex as much as me? Does she have many activities with her friends in order to give me lots of free time with the boys?”

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And now for the real potential deal breaker. How is the sex? He thinks he is god’s gift to women and a great lover. She says, “Erection, ejection, then rejection. Where the hell did he go? Is that the sound of a game on TV in the den? The guy has no idea how to please a woman. He thinks “Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma’am” is how to make love. Either he doesn’t know or doesn’t care, or perhaps both.

Premature ejaculation, not being able to turn her on with foreplay (which includes starting with a good morning hug and kiss), are all things he has to be willing to work on if he can get over his embarrassment, and truly cares about improving.

Of course, there are other couples that are so into each other physically that together they explore all the various methods of improving intimacy by prolonging sexual excitement. Sting and his wife, Trudy, have extolled the joys of Tantric Sex for many years.

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Lucky me! On Thursday, May 8th at 10:00 p.m. EST, I will be interviewed by Devi Ward. Devi is a Tantric Sex Expert and a pioneer in the field of sexual healing and empowerment for women, as well as the Co-Founder of BetterLoveandSex.com – A revolutionary, new form of Erotic Education for Adults.

The link to the radio show is:

http://www.ctrnetwork.com/profile/BetterLoveandSex

I encourage you to call in with any questions that you may have for us. The call in number is: 877-230-3062

I hope that couples will listen in and learn how to improve their lovemaking. You will learn from one of only 2 people in North America qualified to teach the Secret Tibetan 5 Element Sexual Tantras.

I’m awaiting your feedback.

Thanks,

Marty

HDCoverframed

My website is: http://www.stophatingdating.com

Or you can reach me at:  www.twitter.com/martysavarick  or http://www.facebook.com/101waystostophatingdating

read a review of the book at: http://www.amazon.com/author/martysavarick

Ever Wonder WHY We Fall Out Of Love?

You met, you looked deep into each others eyes, all your glands and organs kicked in, and you knew you just met the guy you always dreamed about. I have an urge to write “and they lived happily every after,” because between you and me, I need to take care of those little nagging things that always seem to pile up. I have to get my pills refilled, need to restock “survival food” in the fridge, return lots of phone calls, tweets, e-mails, texts, blog follower comments and lots of other little things. BUT….I wrote the headline, I know what I want to say about WHY we fall out of love, and I haven’t written a blog in a few days, hopefully keeping my blog readers still following me. So thanks a lot for the session on the couch Doc, and here we go.

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We all have experienced that amazing feeling of finding a new “love.” But reality, in the form of a little, grinning, red-horned Devil that has LOTS of experience, knows that it probably won’t last. He is grinning because that little bastard knows he will enjoy watching us feel upset, confused, and eventually, depressed. Even if you decide to make it work and hang in there, there is no guarantee of ever-lasting love. It fades. So I wondered, do people really fall OUT of love? If so, what can we do to make love stay? Here are three pretty strong reasons for causing love to end.

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1) Clamming Up About Feelings. We know that men are generally responsible for this problem. Ladies public rest rooms usually have a sofa, so when the women leave together you know  “freshening up” is not the real reason for the conference that is about to occur. Your friend is visibly upset about HIM clamming up. She needs a good friend, (or often an understanding stranger will do), to discuss her problem with him. Many men have little or no ability to discuss communication problems within the relationship. Most women want to discuss the situation as well, to see what can be done to develop an open and honest connection with each other. Most men, being the strong silent types, have no interest in discussing feelings, emotions or anything that could save her sanity. He’ll just use the blame game, “You’re acting like a broad or little girl” and “It is what it is.” Dumb comment because EVERYTHING is what it is. So if they can’t arrange to get together to talk it out, they gradually will fall out of love. Remember, open minds make for lasting love, closed minds, silence and the blame game causes the relationship to end.

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2) Sometimes For No Discernible Reason We Tend To Push A New Love Away. Why? That’s a good question. It happens when a somewhat negative person feels the glass is half empty and panics. She may be pushing a caring and available guy away by diminishing his worth. A self-imposed panic sets in when she realizes that because this guy has the ability to get inside her head and heart, if he breaks up with her, it will be emotionally devastating. It’s kind of a projected self-defense mechanism that converts into apprehension, then to fear. I know you recognize that real love is all consuming and involves trust and a leap of faith, which can be scary. My suggestion to you is, if you feel the hesitation; clam down, go slowly, and give love a chance to grow, eventually your fears will diminish.

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3) Love Fades. No matter how incredibly passionate the love affair is, and no matter how much love you feel including all the erotic, romantic, loving things you tell each other, sooner or later it will fade, it has to. You can’t possibly keep up the newness, excitement or intensity. People evolve, relationships become routine and perhaps the level of excitement is greatly diminished. Then what?  Is it over? Are you out of love? The secret is not to neglect the person you care about. Holding hands, a surprise kiss on the lips or the neck can bring sparks, surely not enough to start a fire, but enough to remind them you care, and are in it for the long haul. Both of you are responsible for making the love last. You just have to decide to give that partner what he or she needs most.

Practically speaking, love doesn’t have to last decades or even a lifetime to actually matter. Romantic relationships can gradually evolve into friendships, it doesn’t have to end; it’s just redefined.

I am looking forward to reading your comments about your (or a friends, wink, wink) relationship and how it impacted your life.

I love to write and I LOVE to write for you.

Thanks ,

Marty

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http://www.stophatingdating.com  is my website, or you can also reach me:

http://www.twitter.com/martysavarick        http://www.facebook.com/101waystostophatingdating

http://www.amazon.com/author/martysavarick