I have to share a wonderful experience with you that I had last Thursday. I was interviewed on Internet Radio by Devi Ward, one of the Worlds most renown Tantric Sex teachers. But before I get ahead of myself, and you start asking mental questions while your curiosity is running wild, let me begin at the beginning.
I have met many business contacts on a site called LinkedIn. They categorize different business’s by name and function so I was, (and am able) to be in contact with “experts” in the “Dating” field. I remember being intrigued by Devi’s profile so I contacted her November 23rd and we joined each others contact list. We exchanged notes back and forth over the last six months, and she recently asked me if I would like to be interviewed by her on her show.
I was a little nervous that she would be ask me about Tantric Sex. All I knew was that it was Originated in India over 1500 years ago and Sting, (the singer) and his wife Trudy are famous for their use of it and discussing it publicly. I also knew that it lasts a long time and one should be in good shape or you’ll throw your back out. The final thing that I knew about Tantric sex is that most men either don’t care or don’t know how to satisfy a woman.
Many men I have interviewed about sex and relationships over the years worried about two things; “will she like me enough to want to go to bed, and will I be able to perform longer than my usual 30.” I asked “you can go for 30 minutes?” “No they replied, almost in unison….. 30 seconds”. Good thing they didn’t ask me. Premature ejaculation is a curse many men suffer from particularly if they are; young, with someone new and very hot, or she does something very wonderful and totally unexpected that makes his little head scream out with both joy and semen.
The following paragraph is a direct quote from Devi’s latest blog.
“In Tantra, the approach to pleasure and arousal comes from the standpoint of understanding that women are like a large pot on a small flame. It takes women 20-45 minutes to heat up, but once hot, women stay that way for hours. Men on the other hand are like a small pot on a large flame. They tend to heat up fast but then boil over and all the juices (literally and figuratively) are gone. Tantra provides accessible methods for finding the balance between male and female sexual arousal, and skills for embracing mutual PLEASURE. The current attitude by most men towards sex is “getting in that pussy, so I can bust a nut.” It is fueled by male ejaculatory orgasm which usually happens quickly, explosively, and selfishly, meaning it doesn’t matter if she is ready or not, and most men have no training in how to control their ejaculation to last beyond 2-10 minutes.”
Devi also has written, “We live in the ‘cum culture’ which is perpetuated by Porn. Sadly, Porn is where most men and women are getting their sex education. If only sex became a team sport, (like we’re all on the same team) and MUTUAL pleasure, fun, enjoyment, and connection was the goal. If we could only take the subject of sex OUT OF THE CLOSET, and put it upon the table so we could see it and discuss it openly, without giggling like 7th graders and calling it dirty.”
So I did my homework. I read up on Tantric Sex in preparation for answering questions by Devi the sexpert. Basically the teachings are specifically designed for us to feel more and to increase our awareness of our own energy and the energy around us. The goal is NOT Orgasm, but slowing things down enjoying and FEELING the whole sexual experience. This doesn’t mean that Orgasm doesn’t exist in Tantric Sex, the goal becomes awareness and greater understanding of our self and our partner. It is taught by many different teachers around the world with different features, but the one common characteristic of Tantric Sex is the importance of deep breathing and slowing down sexual behavior compared to the hectic orgasm-focused North American approach.
I was happy to read about the time it requires to learn about the going slow approach and the touch and feel of Tantric Sex, mainly because I had accidently discovered it for myself years ago when I decided to slow down my Orgasm and concentrate on her and hers, (yes, that’s plural).
My interview with Devi went very well. She was the perfect interviewer. She made me relax by only asking me interesting, thoughtful questions about “101 Ways to Stop Hating Dating” and if I ever gain enough courage to try stand-up comedy, I want Devi in the first row. She has the greatest laugh.
I have a link for you if you haven’t heard the interview yet; http://www.contacttalkradio.net/CTR/deviward050814.mp3 You also can find much more about her on her website; http://www.betterloveandsex.com
Buy my e-book for less than a Starbucks latte at; amazon.com/author/martysavarick