What inspires me to write a blog? First, I welcome those wonderful middle of the night epiphanies. I’ve learned to keep a pad and pen on my night table and to switch on the light, so hopefully what I attempt to write down will be legible in the a.m. Notice I said, “switch on the light,” because I’ve learned through trial and error that scribbling some ideas half groggily at 3 a.m. in the dark turns into Farci, Yiddish or Mandarin in the early light of day. I also read a lot, and if I find something that I think would appeal to you, I use that concept and run with it. Sometimes it is so well written that I shamelessly “borrow” more than I should (In a state of total envy) and give them the credit they deserve for their writing skills. This Blog was “influenced” by Norine Dworkin-McDaniel who is a Special Contributor to Lifescript, an excellent newsletter for women. Her article was titled “7 Types of Men to Avoid.” I added; three more types, changed most of her wording, and added some of my special brand of humor. I think it will be very informative and quite helpful for you to realize these types of guys are out there, all of them eventually ending up breaking your heart.
1) Mr. Jealous. It may take you a while to discover, but he probably has learned by now to cover it up well. He has little or no self-confidence. His insecurities will eventually drive you crazy; he needs you to comfort and praise him constantly, including trying to be positive and complement him for the “good parts” of his messing up. He just can’t handle the truth because it’s too painful. Living a long life with this type will cause YOU real pain.
2) Mr. No-Moneybags. These guys not only exude lots of charm but they also seems to be so financially comfortable. They, unfortunately have Rolls Royce tastes and Kia budgets. Their special skills lay in their ability to find women with money. He does special research using his pre-war windup computer to locate grieving widows (by reading the Obituaries daily), locating women with trust funds who were never married, and women older than he, who initially are only looking for a classy man to escort them to charity balls and the like. He eventually manages to get into their hearts and wallets.
3) Mr. Marry-Go-Round. This type has little or no respect for the institution of marriage. For him it is only a piece of paper tied into a fault free, and payment free pre-nuptial agreement. Before marrying, he tells his bride-to-be that in order to protect his assets, his lawyers insist on him having a pre-nup that says he doesn’t have to pay out one cent until you reach, (pick a number) 2?, 3?, or even 5? years of marriage. You can bet your bottom dollar that he has already filed to break up the marriage well before the deadline date. He probably has been out looking to trade you in for a newer model.
4) Mr. Peter Pan Syndrome. Although his birth certificate claims he is in his 30’s or 40’s his behavior is 100% Frat boy. His favorite activity is sitting on the sofa surrounded by beer, appetizers, chips and his best buddies playing video games, jumping and screaming as if they have just won the lottery. They are on a first name basis with the “best” bartenders in town, and always ready to go on a fishing trip (usually to Las Vegas, the only fish in Vegas are at the tables.) You learn to love his spontaneity and sense of adventure by para-sailing over the beach in Cancun or Acapulco, but when you really need him, it’s like asking a 10 year old for help and emotional support. Yes, your Peter Pan will eventually grow up into a perennial bachelor, who still cares more for the latest video game rather than having a serious relationship with you.
5) Mr. Heavy Baggage. Hardly anybody comes into a potential relationship totally unencumbered. There usually are; children, grandchildren, ex-spouses, alimony payments, ex’s children and their families. Add in the debts, lawsuits, business problems, crazies lurking around the corner or online, brothers, sisters, weird friends, health problems, pets and prior in-force contracts, just to name a few. Do you really need any more? Here’s how to root them out into the open. Ask to meet “the family” as soon as you two talk about commitment or have had the “together forever” pledge. When you do meet them, try to find an unhappy member of the group and talk to them privately. Ask a few probing questions. Are you unhappy? Why? What’s going on in the family? Be prepared to jump back to avoid the angry words spewing from their mouth. Time to hit the road and leave the guy with the baggage behind.
6) Mr. Mama’s Boy. He is so nice. It’s rare nowadays that you can call a person nice. It’s the nicest four letter word we can use in describing another. He is also kind and affectionate, well trained in the kitchen and laundry. Unfortunately he is hung up on another woman-his mother. I’m sure it’s not the fantasy threesome you had envisioned. Mom is super competent. She manages his checkbook, his investment portfolio, real estate (where he is to live), politics (who he will vote for), and other means of controlling his every decision. If you push him to choose sides, guess who loses….and don’t let the door slam you in the tush as you are leaving, mostly for your sanity.
7) Mr. Permanent Bachelor You find it impossible to believe that the guy you just dated for the first time is still available. Why hasn’t someone grabbed him up until now? He is so handsome, so smart, so funny, so financially stable in his own successful business, such a perfect gentleman, and his kisses melt you like ice cream outdoors in summer. After a few more dates while you are daydreaming about your white picket fence future, he then apparently reads your mind and disappears, out of your life forever. He left so quickly that when you look down, you can see his skid marks on the tile floor. If he was ever asked if he has found Mrs. Right yet, he would reply, “No, not yet, but I’m still looking.” With a perennial bachelor, there is no Mrs.right and probably never will be. But women’s nature rears up and says, “I’ll be the one.” but if no one has been Mrs.Right, you probably won’t be either.
8) Mr. Egomaniac. I guess because I hate braggarts so much, I think I have a Bill O’Reilly/Donald Trump personality detector and all egomaniacs set of an internal alarm. Not everybody has one. Too bad, these guys will Superego you to distraction. Usually they are brilliant, accomplished and have an unflagging braggadocios belief in their own superhuman infallibility. He usually doesn’t like competition. Although he claims to seek out an equal, if you outshine him he will retaliate to knock you down while rebuilding himself up again. Some ego driven men think nothing of embarrassing loved ones in public to re-assert themselves, especially in their own minds. Many women are smitten with the strong, silent, tough guy type; Clint Eastwood in his prime and Big John Wayne could certainly make your day. Nowadays, I even heard some women talk lovingly about Chris Christie because, “He’s tough and he would fight for me.” Most people with his demeanor are just loudmouth bullies, plain and simple. Hit the road before this macho bully ruins your life.
9) Mr. Not Good In Bed. Woman talks her intimate partner into going to a sex doctor. The Doctor addresses them and says, “I understand you have a sex problem.” the guy says, “I don’t have a problem, she has the problem, she comes too late.” Sexually experienced women know the difference if the guy is not a good lover. He doesn’t kiss well (and you don’t want me to go into what bad kissers do or don’t do) You’re welcome. But there is more to being good in bed or being a good lover. Touching, tenderness, erotic contact with words and physical contact well before the actual act, is a necessary build up for a woman. She wants to feel desired, her body is a beautiful compilation of skin and nerve endings that should be played as if you were playing a Stradivarius violin. It takes time. Her lover must use his lips, tongue, fingers and all over gentle tactile massage to get a woman ready for what should last hours, not one minute. He wants to ejaculate so he can go to the refrigerator then turn on the TV and watch the game, or what’s even worse, watch porn. Having sex and making love are two different things that many men no nothing about. Good luck trying to train them. Give it a shot before you drop him, your efforts just may be rewarded.
10) Mr. Control Freak. I’m a sucker for nature shows especially where they depict animals in deadly combat for survival. Last week I saw a battle between a large alligator and a huge Boa constrictor The Boa eventually squeezed the life out of the gator, eventually unhinged it’s jaws and swallowed it whole. I know it’s a stretch, but dating a Control Freak is like gradually having the breath being squeezed out of YOUR body. It starts innocently enough, but by the sheer strength of his will, you will be eating at the restaurants he wants, watching the movies he picks, and hanging out with only his friends. If he is the typical Control Freak, he will be dictating everything, from what you are wearing, to how you spend your free time. His obvious concern and attention is surely flattering, so you start to believe it’s all about you, but one day you wake up and ask, Where did I go? Who am I? The best way to avoid being in his grasp is to be aware of his behavior early on. If he seems too involved in ALL your activities and tells you what to do, who to see and where to go and with whom, a bell should go off in your brain. He always expects you to agree with him and if you dare not to, he will berate you until you see it his way. Don’t allow it to continue because that Boa Constrictor is trying to remove all your ability to object and to defer to him, totally micromanaging you, by then it’s too late. In summary, as soon as you realize he is a control freak…. Run-don’t walk-away.
Have you been a victim in the past? Do any of these 10 types of the wrong men remind you of a current relationship? Get out before you potentially waste the best years of your life (including your childbearing ones), with a guy who will only break your heart.
Please comment below.
Reach my Website at www.stophatingdating.com
or reach me at http://www.twitter.com/martysavarick or www.facebook.com/101waystostophatingdating