Understanding Body Language Clues
Either you asked a close friend to fix you up with their sexy friend, or maybe you’ve been corresponding with someone really interesting on an Internet Dating site, or your expensive Matchmaking service promised you this will be the perfect “fix-up” for you, it’s just what you’ve been dreaming about. The date is real soon and you are very nervous. Is this the “one”? Will it go as well as you hoped for? Will they fulfill your every need especially need number 1, telling the truth? Nowadays, whenever we watch cable news or get stuck watching commercials or hearing a friends story, our B.S. detectors start beeping internally. We are being overwhelmed with lying. Whatever happened to just being honest and telling the whole truth. Let’s hope the date is an honest person.
Well, help has arrived. Tips to tell if you’re being lied to.
Watch out for these three major clues, gestures and cues which are offered subconsciously by your date, (actually for anybody you will speak with in the future). These tips are not the complete answer to whether you are getting the whole truth. There is one other factor to remember, never give up on your instincts. They have enabled us to survive throughout history. Your instincts (feelings) will continue to provide you those RED FLAGS needed to protect you. Your instincts are almost always right, so never stop going with your feelings. Here we go; you Want the truth! You Need the truth!, and you CAN handle the truth!
1) The eyes have it. It has been said by people wiser than me that the eyes are the “window to the soul.” That certainly is true in dating when people are trying so hard to make a great first impression. Sometimes their tongues get in front of their “eye” teeth and they can’t see what they are saying. Try hard to remember every detail, so later when you do your review of the date, everything will be re-examined for accuracy. Here’s what to look for; you can learn a great deal about a person’s state of mind by observing the size of their pupils. Body language experts tell us that when people are in favor of something (or someone), their pupils involuntarily dilate (get larger). Conversely, their pupils will constrict when they are disinterested or covering something up. So I suggest if you notice pupils constrict it’s time to redirect the conversation to something more interesting or provocative. If their pupils remain large, they are very interested in you and the way thing have been going.
2) Let us Pray. Do you know what the hand steeple is? It’s where hands are facing each other fingertip to fingertip, as if praying. That move tends to be a gesture of strength and confidence. Taken to an extreme it can also be perceived as arrogance or haughtiness. So pay attention, if they do it once or twice it’s O.K., but if it is done very frequently you may just be dealing with someone who feels superior to you because they feel they have gotten away with some “fibs.”
3) Watch those revealing hands closely. They can either be a “tell” or an accusation. Remember the three monkeys in the old Japanese proverb “See no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil”? They are covering their eyes, ears and mouth respectively. When your date quickly uses a non-lingering touch to their mouth, eye, ear, or nose, they may be trying to deceive you. (They also may have an itch or don’t know what to say). When they make the same gestures with longer duration, they may be saying they are not sure YOU are telling them the whole truth or the whole story.
So you will be going on that “special” date real soon. Are you excited? Sure! Are you hopeful? Sure! Are you confident? Well, now that you have read this blog, maybe. You can’t wait to search for those super, secret, signals your date will be subconsciously transmitting to you. I hope I didn’t make you too crazy, causing you spend the evening like Inspector Clouseau with a magnifying glass. For you fans of Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm, do you remember when Larry didn’t believe something someone had just said? He gradually moved closer and closer to their face constantly looking into their eyes from different angles. Now I know why, he was pupil checking!
In summary, enjoy your date and just go with your instincts, (and maybe an occasional glace at pupils and hands). Have a great time!!!
Know of any stories we can share about reading “tells” discovering the truthfulness of a date (or salesperson)? Keep in touch by suggesting a subject matter you might be interested in reading more about.
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