My definition of compromise is doing something you may not want to do. Stop!!, I take that back. To clarify, it means that it might not be # I on your list, in fact it may be down the list quite a bit. But to make peace, you go along to get along. That my friend, in a nutshell is what relationships are all about. C O M P R O M I S E. If you defer on everything they will lose respect for you. If you are not willing to compromise at all and you think it’s O.K. to stand there growling, arms folded, stomping your feet here’s a News Flash, it’s not O.K. It’s a heated discussion, a fight in the making.
So, what price peace? Is it important to always get your way? How about keeping score and shoot for 50%? Maybe an introspective discussion with yourself trying to figure what is really important to you and worth fighting for?
Did you ever think that in a turf war when you show you CARE about satisfying your partners choice, they become aware of your concession, and so appreciate what you have done (compromised), they just may start caring more about what is important for you and suggest what they know is your preference. See, love turns into caring and doing for each other, problem solved, and they both lived happily ever after….
Not so fast Kimo Sabe, Ladies, (I’ll write about what men do to irritate you very soon), maybe there are little things that drive your man crazy. I’m not talking about the bedroom, there you’re on your own, so tantalize and seduce away. I’m talking about those things he may not even have discussed with you…yet, but if you do any or all of the 5 annoying things, I promise a sit down is coming, and coming soon.
Things that Drive Men Crazy
1) Being a Drama Queen/Game Playing. By applying yourself there are many ways you can add excitement, drama and eroticism into your relationship. You know what he likes and what turns him on and use it, often enough to keep it fresh and titillating, (you know what I mean.) Look in the mirror and be honest; have you ever thrown a temper tantrum simply because you’re cranky, tired or want to get your way? You might qualify for being a drama queen. Has he ever complained about you “always” being late? The always part is unfair, but so is keeping him waiting very often. Do you get overly upset when he is being sociable and the woman happens to be VERY attractive? Whatever it is that annoys you (jealousy?), it is usually much better to sit down together (at the appropriate time) and calmly discuss the issue(s). Let each other know how you feel and being grown-ups will keep the peace.
2) Expecting the man to pay for everything. This subject is a matter of where you are in your relationship. I can only speak for myself. When I asked a woman out on a date I insisted on paying for everything, usually for the first few dates. Some women insisted on reciprocating and bought dinner. Others paid for tickets to shows, dinners, their travelling costs and refused my offer to reimburse them. If exclusivity had been established, a discussion about finances was usually in order at the appropriate time. I have heard this first hand from a couple of single male friends who have overheard their woman saying, “My money is mine, and his money is ours.”
3) Pushing him for a commitment or asking “Where do you see us in the future?” For many men, sometimes a woman pushes him to commit to “forever” often when he’s not ready. Some men have “nerves” about changing such a good relationship inviting the state and religion into their arrangement, others just need more time because something doesn’t seem “just right.” She’s nervous, possibly “wasting” those valuable youthful hot body years on a guy who may never commit.
4) Picky, Picky, Picky. She may be trying to “improve” him. He may be thinking “death” by a thousand little piranha bites. I suggest you both lay it all out on the table about what’s bugging you about each other and if you feel it’s reasonable and doable, you’ll both try to accomplish it. Arrange follow up sessions to evaluate progress. Keep smiling, keep trying, good communications can make things work out.
5) He really misses his “guy” time. I had two different guy time arrangements; one was guys brunch on Sundays followed by a couple of terrifying hours of Racquetball doubles, the other, many years later was boys night out on Monday nights at our favorite Greek restaurant (no belly dancing, just great food). She should also plan a night out with the girls. It’s only a problem when one party wants total exclusive control of the others time or spends too much time with their “friends.” Again good communication will smooth it out.
Tell me about your “problems” and how they worked themselves out. Communications is king and critical to any good relationship.
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