I Want a Guy With a BIG……………..heart

O.K. ladies hold on to your socks, this is going to be an interesting read. You may be drained and all pooped out, but it will be a hell of a rough ride. To be perfectly frank, I have been too nice, too polite, too obsequious, (compliant or subservient), now it’s time to toughen up and be as rude and crude as some of my female blogger friends. Women have always wanted equality. Well, in terms of SEX and raunchy SEX talk, you’ve got it now, (not yet in equal pay for equal work, but we’re working on it).

As far back as I can remember, teeny bopper girls have always shrieked at male musicians, movie, or TV stars. I never could figure out what they were carrying on about; “He’s so cute, I’d love to kiss him, love to date him.” from Sinatra to Justin Beiber, girls have been non-committal about what they wanted to do with them. The boys are different, we looked at Playboy and loved the tits, ass, sexy red lipstick, or exposed tongues licking or sucking any phallic shaped object. The boys knew what they wanted. Today the girls are very descriptive, just like the boys. “I wonder how large his dick is? And how it would feel deep inside of me.” Female gossip in newspapers, magazines and websites, talk about the latest new guy in Hollywood who just joined the list of those that are hung like stallions.

Statistics show that today’s women watch porn as much as men, but prefer the ones with; better acting, more romantic plots, quality appropriate music, all looking and sounding like an authentic love story, and of course ending with the obligatory sucking and fucking scenes, but in a more sensitive, romantic way. For much of the younger set from 18 to 30, “Friends with Benefits” is close to the norm. Women want sex and they are out there looking for it. Many times, they are the aggressors, even in public places. Starting with finding what they want, then playing innocent kissy-face that turns into heavy necking, dry-humping while dancing to see if they can get the guy aroused. At that stage it’s easy to grab his dick and lead him to a private place; hers, his, or a friends pad for sport fucking. It could even be really romantic and not rushed especially if roommates aren’t home yet.

Today, both genders are avoiding marriage for a much longer time than ever before. Men are waiting to 29, women to 28. Lack of good jobs, too little income or just wanting to “sew more wild oats,” or a combination of these and many other factors has created a whole new younger generation.

Let’s move on to the couples in their 30’s and above that are into a committed relationship. Women are not necessarily in it forever, like their mothers, aunts, and grandmothers dreamed about. If the guy “changes” and turns out to be not what she expected in the bedroom, she is just as likely as he to initiate breaking up.

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Here are interesting statements that five different women recently told me what they are looking for to keep the relationship flame alive. These are not in any particular order. They just represent the primary emotional and /or physical needs these different women crave.

1) “My favorite four lettered word is NICE. I also need Brave and Smart.”

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She started by recalling that she clearly remembered watching the Wizard of Oz movie when she was 10, especially the scene when Dorothy met the 3 characters on the yellow brick road. She also recalled the major qualities she admired from The Straw man, the Tin man, and the Cowardly lion. As she was growing up, she always dreamed about having a man who was a combination of all three; A good brain, a guy who will protect her from all danger, plus having a big heart.  When I reminded her how difficult it could be to find a guy with all three traits, I asked her if she would be able to prioritize and narrow it down to just one quality. She thought for a while and finally said, ” If I was limited to have only one of those three special characteristic in a mate, I’d have to go with a genuinely nice guy with a Big Heart.

2) “I personally can’t stand cheap or frugal, so I need a generous guy.”

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It’s not about giving gifts of jewelry or other showy things that are important, it’s about being a giving, caring person that never forgets a birthday or anniversary. It’s about consideration of the other person, “What can I do for you, I’m going out, what can I get for you?” Generosity begets generosity. When one partner is giving, it encourages the other partner to want to give back. Loving reciprocity is the backbone of a solid relationship.

3) “I thrive on the Romance, I need to be Wooed.”

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“I’ve had several romantic relationships in my life and the best part, by far, is in the beginning, when you can’t say enough loving things to each other, and can’t wait to jump into bed. And just like clockwork the cockwork dwindles after about three months. A guy just loses his romantic impulses, settles in, and takes you for granted. Where did the passion go? Where did the kissing, touching, feeling, love talk, and those erotic naked showers we loved so much, disappear to? It was so incredibly MUTUAL back then, now I hesitate because I don’t like to go where I’m not invited, no matter what the history has been. Sorry Charlie, or whatever your name is, I need to be wooed. I need the love talk, your fingers on my body parts, the occasional card or flowers for no reason, except that you loved me”. So guys, the takeaway for you is ..don’t settle into a boring routine. She needs the attention and the love talk and the lovemaking even after you get engaged, but especially after you are married. Keep it, and her alive. You wooed her once and you won her, you better keep up the wooing, or you’ll lose her.

4) “I need Someone who cares about ME, even as I get Older.”

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A 42 year old woman told me she has been in long relationships with three different types of men; a high powered hard working glib Lawyer, an ultra-confident business executive who worked long hours, an-ex pro athlete who retired to a life suddenly without the fame, but managed to manage his money and charitable involvements very well. Each had his good points, but to be truly caring for your so-called Soul Mate is a rare commodity. They all had strong ego’s but did they all put themselves first? Who is she married to now? It really doesn’t matter and I can’t tell you because she didn’t tell me. But one of these guys loved her very much and cared to make her feel loved. She said they are still very happy because they both want to wake up next to the person they love, knowing that each wants the best for the other without expecting something in return.

5) “The Chemistry between US makes the Sparks Fly.”

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It’s really hard to define. What does the chemistry between us feel like, and what is the best way to define it. It’s the unexplainable, elusive SOMETHING. A chemical reaction that happens to both of you, and you just can’t get enough of each other. Every single kiss, every oral suck, or clitoral nibble, or deep penetrating stroke, feels so much better than the one that just preceded it. People say it feels like an electric current is attached to every extremity. You can’t wait for the next little shock and won’t think about stopping until you achieve an astounding, mutual, nuclear, body rattling, series of screaming orgasms. Now you must concentrate on catching your breath, and hopefully get back into a normal breathing pattern, before your lover starts thinking about calling 911 for the oxygen to save your life.The initial physical attraction can start as soon as your eyes make contact, or some grow into it as inhibitions are gradually reduced. It is important to know that there are non-visual cues that may be driving you. So when you feel the chemistry together don’t overthink it, just go with it, and keep a small oxygen canister nearby.

I have been reading and studying other Bloggers and many just let the profanity fly. This is my first attempt at stream of consciousness, off the cuff, winging it. Please tell me how you feel and what you are thinking. Should this style be encouraged or be altered?

I love to write and I LOVE to write for you.

Thanks,

Marty

HDCoverframed

http://www.stophatingdating.com

You can also find me at:

http://www.twitter.com/martysavarick    and    http://www.facebook.com/101waystostophatingdating

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Top 5 Things Guys Want in a Girlfriend

Mensa, the international organization that caters to the top 1% of intelligent people, claims it’s a high I.Q. that guys crave, Forbes says it’s a nice, round, firm curvy nest egg, Playboy, well we have the pictures for proof, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, the two Jimmy’s; Kimmel and Fallon, and of course Dave Lettermen all claim THEY need a partner with a good sense of humor and to be able to say up late, Dr. Phil says it goes deeper, much deeper, Lance Armstrong probably would want someone who will go for a bike ride, a looooog, fast, drug aided, bike ride, and finally sex maniacs are probably in need of a partner with similar energy and drive. Just the way there are different groups with their specific preferences, there are also many different types of men who have dissimilar parameters. To further complicate the issue, if you asked men to make a list of the top things a woman MUST possess, plus the things a woman SHOULD have, and finally the things that would be NICE to have, you might need lots of paper. Now we arrive at the list of deal-breakers. I don’t want to overly complicate this issue by suggesting you put a numerical amount next to each of the listed plusses and minuses, it would be overkill. So how you decide if she is for you? How about narrowing your search down to the top 5 things that mean the most to you. Here’s what my research has revealed about the most common top traits:

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1) To most men, way down deep it’s looks, looks, and stunning  looks. In spite of many men telling women that looks are nice, but it’s really not necessary, it’s a fib. When a man looks at a very attractive woman and the voice way down deep inside says in a Barry White baritone voice, “OMG,” the chase has officially begun. After he gets to know her better and some negative personality traits appear, he may either lose interest, or continue to pursue her if the other things are easy to accept. But if the looks are not there initially, she may never have the chance for him find out what the whole person is really like. Women are less superficial and more grounded. When it comes to  physical attractiveness it’s rarely #1, a guys ability to offer support and stability moves him to the top of most woman’s lists.

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2) A “Cold Fish” is usually a deal breaker. Many men are touchy feely, a hug, a kiss, an ass grab are all needed to keep the lust alive. Yes many men are crude, they just want to jump into bed, and Wham, Bam, thank you Ma’am. He just comes and goes. If she has the guts to tell him to slow down because she needs more sensuality and patience and says,” WE have a sex problem, he replies, “Waddya mean We? People change, if she loses the tactile sensual feelings he loved at the start of their “romance,” he just may opt to look elsewhere.

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3) She has to be calm, honest, and patient. Some men love drama queens. I guess they feel that it makes the passion greater than in a conventional relationship. But count me out! I could never be involved with an out of control person who yells, screams and throws things at the drop of a hat.  Say for example, she walks in on you and your young, beautiful mistress. She starts bellowing like a banshee throwing everything at you that’s not nailed down. Is that anyway to behave? Surely not. She should sit down in bed next to you and introduce herself to your young lady friend. Then calmly ask a couple of friendly questions like, “How old are you bitch?”, “Where do you go to high school?” and “Try to guess whether I am going to kill him or both of you.” See what I mean? Calm, in control,  no raising of her voice, and doesn’t fret over the small things. I need a woman who is a good communicator, who doesn’t make me guess as if I were a mind reader.

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4) I want to be loved for me not what I can provide financially. This could be a tough one. If you are blessed with having assets that enable you to enjoy a very comfortable life, you may always have that nagging feeling that she is looking at you as a Sugar Daddy, not the love of her life that she frequently calls you. Very often, the rich older guys with the much younger arm candy, are so happy with the relationship, that they don’t have to delude themselves into believing that she really does love him. But the comfortable one who wants her to love Him, want Him, need Him, may never truly know the depth of her love. She just may be a hell of an actress.  Many rich men are looking for an authentic relationship, yet can’t rest because they’re always on the search for proof that she doesn’t care as much as she claims.

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5) She has to get “it” in order to get me. A true sense of humor is critical for me to have closure for my relationship to thrive and survive. During my dozen single years, while searching dating sites, it seemed like everyone claimed to have a “great” sense of humor. There were some obvious clues in the way it was stated on their profile that made me realize it’s was not accurate. “I’m humorous, I like jokes, I enjoy laughing,” are pretty much dead giveaways. No comedian ever called themselves humorous. I also feel that you can’t truly be funny unless you are also intelligent. Those two factors are at the top of my list. Saturday evening, Sheila and I celebrated our second year together. I can honestly say that I have laughed more these last two years than ever in my lifetime. Lucky me, she has all five factors that make me so incredibly happy.

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Tell me about your list and process for determining what is necessary for you to be happy. Love to hear from you.

I love to write, and I LOVE to write for YOU!

Thanks,

Marty

HDCoverframed

Please visit my website at www.stophatingdating

You can also contact me at:

www.twitter.com/martysavarick   and   www.facebook.com/101waystostophatingdating

Are You The Type Of Woman That Men Go For?

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Ahhhh! Those awful preconceived notions of the “perfect” woman, or should I say the Playboy image of the perfect woman. Big breasted, small waisted, long-legged, and unfortunately not candidates for Jeopardy, fits the mold of what has been tantalizingly tempting men since the 1950’s. Women have fought back hard and gained respect being different from the so called norm.

So how have women changed?  The good news is that there are no so called “norms” any longer. I’m going to concentrate only on 5 different types or groups of women. All very different; one group has to do with smarts, another is attitude, these gals are never boring, a third is slightly older but often much wiser, the fourth is the one who has learned what men like and how to manage (control?) them by using her feminine wiles and finally, the group that surprisingly seems to be the best “closers” and get the pick of the litter.  Now that I’ve piqued your curiosity, let’s meet these ladies.

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1)   The Brainy Babe. I think smart is sexy, in fact, very sexy. The three things I looked for in a woman during my decade of dating, were tied for first place at the top of my list; Smart, Funny and Nice. Nice happens to be my favorite four letter word. I learned it from my son when he was 15. He was “going steady” with a neighbor’s daughter, and my ex-wife and I both thought it would be better for the “kids” to be just friends, not dating. Being exclusive, at that age, seemed to be rushing the romance way too quickly. So I spoke with him and asked what he liked most about her. He said it was a four letter word. My mind did flip-flops wondering what four letter word he was going to shock me with, but of course I’ve already told you, he said she was the “nicest person” he has ever known. “In fact, we can talk about everything and I think she would kill to protect me. But if you’re concerned, we have set limits on our intimacy, and have had this same conversation with her parents, so don’t worry.” I fell in love with the word NICE. It is especially appropriate today, with so many inconsiderate people all around us. I’m stimulated by smart people. I know many men who are intimidated by intelligent women. I don’t know whether they have a fragile ego or an insecurity problem, but for me, intelligence is what’s necessary to be able to really fall in love. Of course, funny is funny. It’s just a strong need of mine to have a partner with a great sense of humor. Laughing together is fabulous.

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2)   The Spontaneous, Creative, Free Spirit. With her it’s never boring. She loves different. She takes you along, marching to a different drummer, hers. You’ll see sunrises and sunsets, you didn’t even know such beauty in nature existed. You will go to and see more beauty in Museums that you never envisioned. The same for movies, music, friends, and very often, her use of incredible lateral thinking. Many times you’ll remember saying “I never even thought of that, or looked at it that way.”  Her spontaneity will never cease to amaze you. Her unique take on faith will possibly be the most interesting thoughts on this complicated subject you ever heard. Many men who have the guts to fall for a free spirit, are often rewarded with an explosion of personal creativity they never believed was possible, especially after having lived their formal, routine, uptight, boring lives. She often helps him discover the new more romantic, creative side he never knew he possessed.

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3)   The Older yet Wiser Woman. Richer doesn’t necessarily mean wiser. It seems that old boys with their toys are not only challenging the balance of nature, they are often embarrassing themselves attempting to keep up with girls who could be their granddaughters. Hello, Hef. Men reach their sexual peaks from 18 to 24, women from 28 to 34, so in order to properly satisfy their raging loins, younger men should be with women about 10 years older. Can anybody tell me who created this great eternal plan and why? When you explore the entire situation, it makes sense and is good for all age groups. There are still the majority of couples, both young and old who are together, that are close in age, but let’s continue exploring the others. Young girls, too immature and inexperienced to be great moms yet, should allow older men to teach them worldly ways before being in the family way. She should travel to wonderful, far away places she would normally miss as a young mom. The old guy has his fantasy world and she is taking, traveling and learning. That leaves younger men and older women who have been left behind. This situation also works out well for them. She will have the young strong, hard, lover she needs to satisfy her raging sexual needs and he is learning to be a gentleman and a great lover, while they also travel the world using the money the old guy left her, so he could be with the teenager.

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4)   The Sexy Lady who Knows How to Use IT. The turning point for me was my last year in college. I lived in the Fraternity house and women were not permitted to go upstairs. Even grandmas, aunts, or much older, or much younger sisters had to use the down stairs restroom and not permitted to go visit the upstairs bedrooms. The following year, in 1960 when I graduated, rules were miraculously changed so women were allowed to not only go upstairs, but they were sharing bedrooms and bathrooms. Historically women would never call a man for a date; they rarely ever tried to pick-up a man, and hardly ever told dirty jokes. Nowadays there is gender equality. Men and women talk about sex and have no problem picking up a one-night stand with zero remorse, (unless the sex is bad). Sure, there are still some old-fashioned, young women waiting at home to be asked out on a date.  But because the others are out fooling around, it makes it easy for guys not to pay to go out on a date, or even commit to a relationship, when the sex is readily available. However, I think the tide may be turning. I’ve spoken to a few women in their 20’s and they appreciate their equality and freedom, but the “Friends with benefits” arrangements are not lasting beyond a couple of months, and they are secretly looking for their soul mate and to get into a serious relationship.

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5)   Plain Jane’s with all the “Hot Guys.” Did you ever go to a party and see a group of cool, ”hot” guys hanging around and laughing with a plain Jane type? She’s learned to love sports, action games and movies, so it’s easy to be one of the boys. She speaks their language. What happens when a man in a restaurant accidentally wanders into a ladies room? You can hear the shrieking all the way out to the car Valet. But if a women happens to wander into a men’s room, “Hi honey, come on in, nice to see you, can I get you something?” What is wrong with this picture? At least men have something to see and hopefully hide. But the gal I was referring to before, is the one who would give the same greeting to the guy who came into the ladies room. She is cool and comfortable with the guys. Just one of the boys. But she knows something they don’t. She knows how to read them. She has figured out the “secret” how to reach men. She knows the three kinds of men and how to listen to them, understand them, and approach them in their most comfortable language. This secret technique is explained in detail in my book. The e-book version was released for sale yesterday. If you would like to read it, it’s now available on my new Website www.stophatingdating and please let me know your thoughts.

Guys, now I need some input from you. Please write and tell me what type of woman you prefer. Ladies, which of the above categories do you think you fall into and how is it going? I would love to create a dialogue using your comments, but I need you to submit them and any questions you many have.

I Love to write and I LOVE to write for YOU.

Thanks,

Marty

HDCoverframed

http://www.stophatingdating.com

You also can reach me at:

www.twitter.com/martysavarick     and     www.facebook.com/martin.savarick

Finally…Our Journey to the New Website

It all felt like such a simple plan last August. I was beginning the process of updating  the book I wrote and published in 2007 called “Hating Dating,” to be current and re-release it as an E-Book. It seemed like such a good idea and an easily achievable goal. E-Books have taken over first place from conventional book buying, and at a much lower price. I hired Lisa to be my assistant, she’s a wonderful person, very knowledgeable about writing, computers and the complexities of Social Media. We dove into the process, four straight hours every weekday since. Our original goal was to get it done in about 7 to 8 weeks. Now, if you’re not counting, it is a couple of weeks short of 7 months.

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Where did the time go? I told Lisa about my initial frustrating experience in 2007 with my original Publisher, Mill City Press. I had little or no knowledge of the technical language needed to communicate properly with them. After lots of research, Mill City Press is still the best company to deal with for “self-published” authors. Lisa spoke with many of their new people, and became comfortable with the way they have grown and improved their systems, so we decided to try them again. Although they clearly notified us of all the time frames required for each of the many steps, I personally felt frustrated that it wasn’t progressing faster. They had told us they were shooting for early 2014 for completion, I was thinking, obviously incorrectly, that we were their only account. For every step, and believe me there were many, we had to wait in line behind their many other authors.

The positive part of the waiting equation was that it gave Lisa more time to give me a crash course in Social Media. I have learned to be much better at blogging (Word Press, Blogger and Saching), have been tweeting away daily so far enticing 900 followers, networking with over 500 other business professionals on LinkedIn, developed many Facebook friends and followers, and use Pinterest, which is both a photographic and literal site plus it’s lots of fun. My own personal e-mail list of friends get every Blog together with my request for their objective feedback.

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The major reason I mention the highlights of my Social Media education, is that when the book first came out, I had hired a new, young, hip, advertising agency that sold me on their method of promoting and selling books.  I was wrong not to ask to see samples of their work. Actually, I shouldn’t be so totally negative, they did have some good ideas. My original book was called “Hating Dating” and was yellow and red. Using those colors was an inside joke between me and my brother, since we grew up in the photofinishing business and were legally not permitted to use the Kodak colors (yellow and red) in our own advertising. My hip, new, advertising agency said the cover was too masculine and the title was too negative. Many more women write books on dating, and most of those books are primarily read by other women. Both right on! So we changed everything graphic; the colors, the typeface, the back cover; the internal (more feminine typeface), the high heels and men’s tuxedo fronts printed on every other chapter title. Lots of bucks later, I was proud to say that every single person that purchased the new book LOVED it………..All three of them.

I never reached them the first time the book was promoted, yet I still meet many single folks of all ages, from high school to senior citizens, who are sad, frustrated, and don’t have any idea of what to do to make single dating more fun and successful. Success being defined in terms of finding AND keeping the right mate. So here we go again.The Social Media, (the advertising part) has been Free, if you don’t count our time spent working at it. The updated e-book will sell for $4.95 and still be chock full of helpful advice for people who are single. I’m very sure they will laugh and learn while reading my new e-book, “101 Ways to Stop Hating Dating. A lighthearted look at how to enjoy being single while learning how to find and KEEP their Soul Mate.”

The promotional bullets say:

* Best book ever written on dating

* Guaranteed to make you laugh

* World’s best pick up lines

* How to get inside his head

* How to read her body language

* Funniest “Dates from Hell”

This one I just thought of, it will also be used:

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* Find and keep your Soul Mate for less than a Starbucks Latte.

If I must say so myself, after writing over 60 Blogs, I believe my writing has improved quite a bit. Before, when I thought about working on updating the old book, I was pretty satisfied with the way it was written. Now, because of my additional writing experience, I see things that can, should be, and HAVE BEEN improved upon.

I’m also thinking about doing a series of You Tube videos that have the potential of being a smash hit, and go viral to millions of eyeballs.  I guess I’m putting lots of pressure on myself by admitting that doing funny stuff, and making many people laugh has always been my fantasy. Well, it’s time to try it now, even though this dream has been evolving for 50 plus years.

Also along my journey was the dream that so many have of “writing the book I have inside of me.” Over the years, it is a statement that I have heard so many times, from so many people. Although I’m a little to old now to think about embarking on a career of doing stand-up comedy, I still have maintained the fortitude to satisfy my long time goal of writing a self-help book. You can do it too! You don’t have to listen to me, listen to Woody Allen, he being one of the most successful writers of all time with more than 40 screenplays turned into movies. Woody says to just take a yellow pad and write down ideas on many different pages. No editing at the writing stage. Just get it down on paper then shuffle the sheets of paper to put the book into proper sequence and you’re on your way. Editing many times will follow, but once the ideas are written down and placed in proper sequence, you can see the finish line.

The above story reminds me of when I tell some people a joke or two, I get an immediate review, “It’s wasn’t as funny as your other jokes,” “I liked the first one better,” etc. But then it hits me, these self-appointed critics have never told a joke in their lives, at least I tried. I faced skepticism initially when I told some people (obviously an error in judgment), that I was going to write a self-help book about dating. So after my initial setback writing the book, and making marketing errors, I just had to try again to make it work this time. I feel “101 Ways to Stop Hating Dating” has a whole lot to offer and I know I’ll keep trying to spread the word. The Moral of this little story is, don’t let your critics and detractors stop you from trying to achieve your goal. Make your dreams a reality. Believe me, it is so incredibly uplifting when you start to write and realize you’re on your way to fulfilling that dream you’ve had for a long time.

Most people don’t know this about me, but I was a terrific Boy Scout. During my formative years I learned a lot about how important it is to try to help people. During my decade of being unattached, I decided to write a book which I knew would HELP other single people learn what I had discovered. In fact, I also promised myself that after I break even on this self-help book experience, I will donate most of my profits to worthwhile causes that help needy people.

I enjoyed bringing you up to date and will continue to do so in the future.

If you or anyone you know has had any experience writing and getting published, let me know about it and give me permission to share it in a subsequent Blog.

In closing, I’m so proud to announce the introduction of my new website, which will be continually updated to bring you my latest blogs and information of future works in progress. The website will be our new home on the web to share my thoughts, advice, observations, and laughs with you. So please visit us at www.stophatingdating.com

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Thanks,

Marty

You can also follow me at:

www.Twitter.com/martysavarick    or   www.Faceboolk.com/Martin.savarick

The Exciting Journey From Friends to Lovers

We’ve all seen this story in movies; from the teenager boy climbing trees with his tom-boy female buddy, to the senior couple who are good friends, then one day they look at each other in that funny way and suddenly both couples are in a passionate embrace. Followed by a perfect Hollywood ending.

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No matter how romantic is appears to be or simple to accomplish, trust me, it takes a lot of; thinking, planning, taking chances, strategizing a fall back position, dealing with rejection if your advance is rebuffed, and finally, if it works, discussing who of your friends and relatives will you tell, and when.

The type of friendship you two have has a bearing on the degree of difficulty it will take to become “an item.” For example if your friendship is like a brother and sister, it will be much more complicated than if you are “friends with benefits” like in that famous Seinfeld episode. Just to review, Jerry and Elaine, who are good friends, used to date and were intimate. One day, as a throwaway line, Jerry wondered out loud if it was possible to do this and that. (This, meaning the living room where they were, and that, pointing to the bedroom.)  They worked out the rules right then and there and began doing both this and that. The couple who behave like brother and sister wouldn’t have it so easy. Someone will have to take the initiative and ask the “what if” question, or by-pass the words with a passionate kiss, risking rejection.

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Let’s test our memories and think back to recall if we had a similar situation. Your friend was bright, funny, caring, sensitive, confident and all the other personality traits you admired. It’s hard to say you never thought of the two of you being romantically involved. What would it be like to kiss, caress, and more, much more? But for some strange reason, they have been on your mind much more recently, and you start to wonder if and when you can be more than just friends. You take the pressure off yourself by hoping, and maybe even praying, that they will read your mind and take the initiative to proceed without losing dignity or messing up the friendship by doing it the wrong way.

If they are not taking the initiative and you know you must do it, my advice is to think long and hard about how to get it done. Think back why you two haven’t dated each other before. You can rationalize it away that when you first met, one or both of you were distracted by something time consuming or emotionally draining that only enabled you to be casual friends, and not romantically involved. The reason you remained only casual friends is because very often we tend to pigeonhole people in boxes and they remain there. It’s unusual for people to re-think a situation or a relationship by using lateral thinking, wondering why while using one on my favorite mini phrases…”What if?”

Before you jump into making a move, I suggest you “put your toe in the water.” Test a few verbal scenarios. “You know I date, but it seems none of the people I date really compare to you.” “That old college friend of mine we met the other night called today and told me how much he liked you, and asked how long have we been dating?” If he or she smiles and has a cute response like, “Yeah, I was thinking that too, it does seem that when we are out together, it does seem like a date, a really great, fun, comfortable date.”

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So now it seems like there are sparks flying on both sides. You tend to hold hands perhaps a little longer now, although occasionally. You find that you are touching each other more often. Think carefully about your options. Dancing together is a great way to feel warmth, closeness, with lots of parts touching. During a slow dance, try dancing closer than you would normally, attempt to gauge their reaction, if they don’t pull away and respond favorably by trying to close the gap between you even further, you have your mutual desire for intimacy question answered. From a mans point of view, I think holding her face in your hands when you’re saying goodnight, as if you were going to kiss, looking into her eyes, then lips, then eyes again and closing the gap between you only three-quarters of the space, then stop, again stare into her eyes, (the window of the soul), and wait for a move from her. If she freezes, backs off, or simply says something cute or funny, then you finish the kiss, but on the cheek, and say “I really had a great time tonight, we really dance well together.” But if she moves in for the kiss, make it a good one. Make it last as long and passionately as you can. It stokes the flames until you both can’t wait for the next necking or petting session. Now that you know the chemistry is raging, you both want to take it further.

Intimacy for the first time could be nerve-wracking for both. Will he like me naked? Will I be able to satisfy her as long as she wants me to? Will the choreography of our love- making be awkward the first time? Will I have my elbow on her hair, and when she tries to get up her wig comes off? What if I accidently kick him in the balls? It takes frequency to get the horizontal choreography down pat. What’s the problem? We’re not strangers, we’re grown-ups, and we can laugh at ourselves and can’t wait to come back for more.

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So the sex is good and getting better. We are comfortable with ourselves and our relationship and want to shout it from the rooftops. My advice is …not so fast! Try to keep it private just between the two of you, until you are positive it’s what you both want. Maybe it was the “idea” of being lovers that seemed exciting, but after a few weeks, the curiosity wore off and you realized that you two are only cut out to be just good friends and nothing more. Familiarity occasionally breeds contempt and also enables total honesty. Maybe after finding out more about each other, something was revealed that turned out to be a deal breaker.

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The reason I used the words keeping your relationship “private” before, it is the only way to guarantee no one else knows. If you kept it “secret” and only told a few trusted friends or relatives, I can almost guarantee that someone you trusted who knows about it, will call a trusted friend of theirs, and the great gossiping game called telephone tag begins. Somehow, someway, the secret is out. Now you won’t have to deal with who do you tell, and who hears first. If things do go well, it’s a good idea to minimize the news. “You know we were friends for a long time, and we kinda liked each other, so we decided to try dating.” No need to spill the beans and the gory details, they would probably be mixed up by them gossiping  to others.

The net result is that you both should be happy that you found a soul mate, and it was well worth the effort.

If you, or any story you know about, is similar to this Blog, let me know about it. Very often best friends decide to take the relationship to the next level. It really makes a great love story. I’m living it now, and hopefully you have or will also.

I love to write and I LOVE to write for you.

Thanks,

Marty

HDCoverframed

To purchase this book go to www.amazon.com/author/martysavarick

You can also find me at:

www.twitter.com/martysavarick     or     www.facebook.com/martin.savarick

Why He Notices Other Women On Your Date.

I am a man, but I’m the first to admit that my gender does dumb or insensitive things, especially when they go out on a date. Women want the guys full attention. She took many hours to get ready; selecting the proper outfit that shows some leg and cleavage, but not too much, Sexy, but not too obvious. Then arranging and sitting through having her hair, nails, toes, and perhaps other areas professionally groomed.

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The least the ungrateful lout should do, is give her his complete undivided attention. But what if it’s out of his control, and the only way he can stop glancing side to side at other women would be to wear a neck brace?

The fact is that men DO look at other people, other women and other attractive women, obviously not in that order. The big problem is how long he leers. Looking is normal; staring, gawking, ogling, drooling, checking out, lingering and staring into a strangers eyes with a faraway look and grin on his face, are all unacceptable.

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The simple fact of the matter is that men, generally being more visual than women, do look at other women’s sexiest, most attractive parts. It’s just in our genetic make up. Some Scientists, Anthropologists and Dating Experts have said that it goes way back to the mating selection of cave men.

Men are Usually Visual Beings and Women are Usually Emotional Beings.

Ladies, as long as other women have beautiful parts, and showing them off, men are going to respond by looking and admiring their beauty. The problem arises when men get caught looking…….. Why are you staring at her? Do you think she is more attractive than me? Why don’t you cut out the sneaky stuff and just ask her for her number? You know you want to…… What is the poor guy to do?

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The Top Nine Excuses Men Should Try

Here are some choice excuses a man who has ben caught looking can try. No guarantee of success, but try anyway, it’s better than saying or doing nothing.

1) I also look at beautiful cars, boats, and spectacular sunsets. Men are visually stimulated and admiration of a beautiful sight, is just a males normal behavior.

2) Just because I happened to look at another attractive woman, has absolutely no bearing on how much I care for you, or OUR relationship.

3) You felt I was staring or gawking like an adolescent. Just because you felt I was demonstrating immaturity, it’s not necessarily an indicator of unscrupulous behavior.

4) I confess. I have a hard time not noticing a nice rack, a great ass or long thin legs. I think you have all three, and I feel so lucky to have you in my life. You’re  such a special person, and I’m so happy we are together. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I’m just behaving like a normal guy.

5) I couldn’t believe that woman had such a low cut top, she looked so inappropriate and out of place. This is a classy restaurant, not a strip joint…….Or, you can try it’s partner in crime…..

6) Did you see how huge that woman’s butt was. I’m sorry, I couldn’t believe it, I know I must have been staring, but that butt was HUGE.

7) I’m sorry I was looking at that woman, but I just couldn’t believe what a bad dresser she was. Her top was frayed. I saw sweat marks under her armpits, the pants were too short and very baggy. I’m so thankful you are such a great dresser. I’m always so proud how great you look. I’m always expecting the paparazzi to show up for People Magazine or the Enquirer and snap pictures of you.

8) Be funny. Sorry I was staring, but did you HEAR what she did when she bent over to pour the wine? She FARTED!!  Really, I heard it. I couldn’t believe it. I kept watching her to see if anyone else had heard her or smelled it. I was afraid to tell you because either you wouldn’t have believed me, or you would have been laughing hysterically and cause a scene.

9) Honey, I know I upset you by looking at other women. I will try to only glance in the future and discuss it all with you. But just because I look, it doesn’t mean that I would ever touch.

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Ladies have you ever caught your guy being too obvious checking out boobs or butts. Tell me how you handled it. This can become a great discussion topic for us to share. Guys, did you ever get caught and try to weasel out of it. Use any of my excuses? This was fun for me to write about. Leave some comments below.

I love to write and LOVE to write for you.

Thanks,

Marty

HDCoverframed

You can also read some of my stuff at:

www.twitter.com/martysavarick   and/or   www.facebook.com/martin.savarick

Social Media Effectiveness Versus Conventional Advertisng

Hi Fans,

Today blog has been published on another site. All you have to do is click the link below and you will be able to view it. Todays Blog interestingly compares the costs, coverage, and effectiveness of todays Social Media versus conventional advertising as we know it. Enjoy the read,

Marty

http://www.saching.com/Articles/Social-Media-Effectiveness-Vs-Conventional-Advertising-17186.html

HDCoverframed

You also can follow me on:

www.twitter.com/martysavarick     and/or     www.facebook.com/martin.savarick