Confidence is the New SEXY

Let the cross examination begin. Ready? Do you consider yourself confident? Are you sexy? If you really wanted to, can you tempt an attractive man. Do men flirt with you? Why? Is it the Kim Kardashian cleavage way or something else? Her Minnie Mouse voice? No, it can’t be, unless he is Mickey Mouse or Walt Disney. Why then are men attracted to you, or not ?

The answer, my dear, is if you have that special feeling of self-confidence that radiates thru, men will pay attention to you and feel drawn to you. People feel it when making contact with others. Didn’t you ever meet somebody who is nothing special to look at, but she (or he) has an aura about them that makes you admire, respect and perhaps even envy them, just because you know they have the self-respect you crave?

confidence is sexy 2

Now stand in front of a full length mirror and what do you see? Now do it again naked. Now what do you see? I read a story years ago about Cindy Crawford who looked at  herself nude and created a mental list of what she HATED about her face and body. At that time, she was in the prime years of her beauty and was considered one of the most magnificent looking females ever, but she was unhappy. She also felt she wanted to have some of the super confidence that many of her friends had, but she tried and still was too critical.

So the choice is yours, choose to either accept yourself just the way you are, or if you’re unhappy, you can do something about it; diet, exercise and opt for minor cosmetic touch-ups.

Unfortunately, the times we live in now are difficult for women. It is a 24/7 new cycle. The media decides who to cover (stalk), who is beautiful (sexy photos), and overwhelming us with the hottest, latest stars. Look at the cast of characters they have bombarded us with just the last decade; Paris Hilton doing pornos and nip-slips around the world, Lindsay Lohan falling down drunk, stoned or worse, also with much too much of her helpless body being crudely displayed by the creepy photogs, the bimbos, I mean the Kardashians, managed by mom who hints at an affair with O.J. Simpson, controls her gaggle of daughters photographed in different stages of undress, (ah to be famous for being famous, with zero talent, except for making interracial pornos). Everyday the pictorial media is full of sexy shots of more young, attractive starlets all adding to the cumulative sadness of non-famous people. What chance do you have to compete?

Confidence is sexy

Here is the answer, you don’t have to compete. You know why? Because the game is rigged. How many times have you seen photos or videos of famous actresses and models without the aid of make-up, hair stylists, push up bras, and wearing fancy Ball Gowns? Plenty of times, I’m sure. They are people, with problems and insecurities just like most of us.  The reason I say most of us is because there are women who have that self-confidence knowing that their skills and looks are incredible. They know they are special and it shows. They are the ones surrounded by guys at parties. The women with so many girlfriends who want them to be around because they are so positive and lots of fun to be with.

Everything requires work especially if you choose to change things. If you didn’t like your mirror image thinking you can lose some weight, stick to a healthy diet, and exercise regularly (walking is wonderful, your heart will thank you). Many women I know are working with light weights to tone their bodies. If you’re unhappy with your belly and you’d love a tight tummy and tush, do sit-ups and other exercises like J-lo and Beyoncé. If your upper arms tend to wave in the breeze, take a lesson from Michelle Obama and develop some hot “guns,” so you can show off your new (old) sleeveless tops. Remember, treating your body better is essential to being sexy.


To me, one of the ugliest things is seeing someone who obviously has had too much plastic surgery; Joan Rivers, Mickey Roarke and Bruce Jenner immediately come to mind. If you really feel you hate those latest smile and frown lines on your face, and feel you MUST do something about it, get a botox or laser touch-up, remember less is always more.

Remember these 3 action steps for a stronger, sexier and more confident you.

1) Accept your body…..Cut out the put-downs, stares and judgment towards people who are too fat or too thin. Accepting an individual is the best way to truly accept your own body and the first important step to stop you from comparing yourself to others.

2) Build confidence…..Practice talking to yourself. List the positive things about yourself. Try to be as specific as possible. Paste them on your make-up mirror and other places around the house where you will be reminded to read them to boost your inner strength and continue to build your confidence.

3) Define beauty…..Accept compliments without equivocation. Think only positive thoughts when you receive one and don’t minimize it by false modesty. Just say thank you, and believe it. Defining your own beauty is not just about what you have to offer the world, it’s also about appreciating the beauty others see in you. Embrace it.

Be comfortable with who you are. That’s what’s behind the new movement that redefines sexy from appearance to inner strength. True mental toughness comes from believing in your own hype. Create a mantra for yourself which will remind you how special you really are. Repetition will enforce the “it” factor making it easier for you to pump yourself up.


In Conclusion: Developing the Strength to be Sexy and Confident

Beauty is way beyond being skin deep. There are “beautiful women” who think negatively about the way they look to the outside world. Then there are other women who some might say are not as “beautiful,” yet they exude a captivating level of self-confidence. That confidence and inner-strength makes them feel sexy which is positively enticing, beguiling and ultimately tempting to men.

Please share your experiences and feelings with us. A story about a friend or neighbor can also be worthwhile learning about.




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