The two ends of the spectrum are unreasonable and socially unacceptable. On one side are the people without any confidence what-so-ever; nervous, hate mirrors, uncomfortable in almost every social situation, won’t even attempt potential rejection by going on a date. They are the totally insecure, and don’t like themselves at all. On the other side, we have to take a step back to make room for the Super Egos. They actually think they are one of the very few; beautiful, intelligent, successful, popular and truly sexy gifts from up above. We may have a small chance getting the insecure to begin to like themselves a little more over time, but forget getting the superego club members to ever change. We are left with the huge group in the middle who need our help to stroke their egos, making the changes necessary to actually Stop Hating Dating by learning to like themselves and enjoy the experience of going out socially.
Changing the OLD YOU
Most of us are not curious, we are creatures of habit. We have routines, patterns and live a life of boring, quiet desperation. We wake up at the same time, eat the same things, eating those meals at the same time, in the same place, with the same dishes, often watching the same TV shows. We dress pretty much the same way, live in the same home, area, town, or state while associating with the same people, without ever thinking about changing any of it. We also usually drive to work in an old car, checking the same old watch so we won’t be late, working in the same job surrounded by the same people all the while truly admiring other people who “do” or “change” things. How about, starting tomorrow, you start to change things. No, not all at once, but a little at a time. Try to change at least one thing every day. Wake up a few minutes earlier.. lie down on the floor, flat on your back and stretch for a few minutes, (you’ll feel taller, be able to stand straighter, and be more limber). That person I just recognized in the mirror is not bent over like before. Change the cereal that you’ve have had since childhood, (I bought a big, plastic container, and I blend my own,) I add Cheerios to Cornflakes and a dab of a sweet cereal for a little pick-me-up-healthy-breakfast-treat. Go visit the library or get on the Internet and research things that have always intrigued you. Investigate new places to travel to on your vacation. What other interests can you discover? Switch things up just for the curiosity of it all. You drink regular Coffee? Try the new Decaffeinated Herbal Teas, who knows, you even may like it and sleep better? Start a love affair with yourself and your body. Begin walking every day. A little at first, but soon you’ll briskly be walking for miles, losing weight, getting into better shape, and knowing a lot more about what’s going on in your neighborhood.
How about more Wild and Crazy?
Ask a person you always admired to lunch, take flying lessons, go whitewater rafting with one of your new friends, (I loved it!). Any hot air balloon rides nearby? (Loved that too). Check your local paper for upcoming club meetings, then try one, you may even like it well enough to become a member. You certainly will meet new people, with at least the club as something in common. Re-paint one wall in your house (even if it’s Purple, my favorite color). Cancel those magazines you have been re-subscribing to every year and never get around to reading. I get The Week, it has replaced many of my old magazines because it is so concise and non-political, (plus saving me hundreds of dollars a year). Call or visit an old family member or friend that you haven’t seen for a while, you’ll feel much better and make them happier too. I do the Jumble in the morning and watch Jeopardy at night. I know it expands my mind and may just fight off Alzheimer’s.
How you ask? Easy, I reply. Learn a few jokes you really like and would love to tell others, (the Internet is full of them), Now here’s the clue…you practice in a mirror until you own them. The more you practice the more professional you’ll appear. Interestingly, the more you practice, the more it will be embedded in your new Comedy brain file, so when the subject matter comes up any time in the future, you will be ready to jump in with your well rehearsed joke(s). When you tell it, enjoy it, you own it, a simple matter of automatically connecting that brain synapse.
And finally, turn into an Entrepreneur…What product or service do you think is needed? Write your own business plan, then protect it, (the “how to ” is conveniently free and online). Make it simple at first, one sentence or paragraph will do, then expand it, refine it, confer with trusted friends, network with experts, and perhaps you can turn it into a real successful business. You’ll never know until you make the effort to just try it.
Lots of things to digest here, but if you truly wish to become a new, different and better YOU, it can be done. I’ll bet you’ll fall in love with the NEW you.
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