Pray away the Gay

This season on Sunday evenings at 10:00 P.M., a new TV show called “Masters of Sex” has been appearing on the Showtime network. The show depicts Dr. William Masters and his assistant Elizabeth Johnson doing private clinical studies, scientifically answering the many questions about Human Sexuality. In fact, they were so far ahead of their time, that they not only answered the controversies of the day, but thought of many new and different questions to answer during their groundbreaking study.

To get to the heart of my dilemma, since sexual groundbreaking research was done over 60 years ago, why hasn’t similar scientific testing been done about homosexuals. Most Scientists claim gay sexual proclivities are genetic, that their sexual inclinations are established at birth, and their sexual tendencies and preferences are obvious at a early age. “They’re just born or created that way,” has been a common expression used by experts in the field and parroted by many in the media.

However, there exists a strong religious contingent that God just wouldn’t “do that” to about 20% of the worlds population. So they took it upon themselves to raise money and try to “Pray away the Gay.” Millions of dollars have been raised and spent, and decades have gone by, trying to convert homosexuals through prayer. “Exodus,” one of the leaders in the conversion business for over 30 years, has recently folded their tents, finally admitting that they have failed in their mission.


Another pseudo clinical organization that also raised lots of bucks to promote their
“Pray Away the Gay,” efforts was called “Narth”. Founder George Reekers and Dr. Mike Rosebush, apparently are also going to do the same disappearing act. Reekers was caught by the cameras of “60 Minute’s” coming back from an expensive overseas trip with a young handsome masseuse in tow. Reekers, said the aide, who was hired from “Rent a” was an unlicenced “massage therapist” who carried luggage and helped to rub Reekers aching back. Oh MY aching back, are you kidding me?

Now here’s the punch line. Ready? Reekers’ partner in crime, Dr. Mike Rosebush, the former gay cure advocate, has been hired by the U.S.A.F Academy as a staff member for the Academy’s Center of Character and Leadership. The Academy has been doubling down defending the decision to hire Dr. Rosebush, but as a student of history, I’ll be willing to bet he will be out of there real soon, as soon as the heat’s off.


The LGBT community is really in definite need of a thorough scientific research program ( Like the Masters and Johnson’s society changing awareness way back in the 1950’s), to help discover and uncover all the facts, finally teaching us the truth. We must ban reparative therapy and label it what it really is, “Consumer Fraud.” Proper education will help to remove religious fear and misunderstanding impacting a significant number of members of our society.

Tell me what you believe by putting your comments in the box below, or if you prefer, just send me a private e-mail.




Friends With Benefits, Hangin & Bangin

I recall that Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine discuss becoming Friends with Benefits. It was very funny, but I really didn’t realize how popular that activity was. When I went to College, females (including Moms) were not allowed above the first floor. Just my luck because the year after I graduated, not only did the visitation rules change, gender equality rules went all the way to the other extreme, and often friends of the opposite sex became roommates.

Again, not being able to personally experience the togetherness lifestyle, I didn’t think much about it until Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake played the roles so well in the 2011 film, “Friends with Benefits.” I liked the movie and thought they were so compatible, it sold the story convincing me that the lifestyle was very believable.  At the time I saw it, I thought it happened only occasionally because it  seemed to favor sex crazed college guys with no requirement to spend money on dating, or for gifts, or trips, or financial commitments of any kind. I know this is rude, but at the time I felt it’s like having a neighbor who is a prostitute and she needs to keep in practice.

But what really got me thinking was the incredible statistic I read yesterday, that more than half of todays college students either have a Friend with Benefits relationship now, or has had one recently.  Let me repeat that number, more than half!! Yikes, I’m so happy my daughters have graduated.

The definition of the term “Friends with Benefits,” means two friends that have an intimate relationship without being emotionally involved. This “no strings attached” situation usually continues until one of them changes. An obvious upside is it’s hassle free sex, and the downside is, it never lasts forever. Very often ended by the 10th encounter. Complicating the arrangement, is the difference between most men and the two types of women involved. Men are looking for simple, easy, casual sex on demand. One type of woman participant way down deep, wants a boyfriend who fits the bill of a marrying type guy. She envisions them growing deeply in love and being together forever. Just being a Fu*k buddy she may grow to feel that she is being used. The other type of woman is a career driven type. No thoughts of commitment, no thoughts of husband and children, only focused on that rise to corporate stardom. For her, just like the guy, it’s ONLY about the sex.


Usually before  the arrangement happens they have a meeting of the minds to discuss guidelines, so that both participants know what to expect. Here are a few:

1)  Can you make love without kissing? This could be a hard part. Saying hello and goodbye with a kiss should be a no-no, but in the heat of passion its O.K. Keep trying to remember it’s not a relationship, so no affection and sexy eye-contact. (kind of takes away the making love part for me).

2)  Don’t fall in love. I know it’s very hard to do but emotions ruin the arrangement.

3) Try to pick someone you wouldn’t want to date. It will help insure you don’t “accidently” fall in love.

4)  Don’t text or e-mail or do other non sexual things together.

5)  Don’t keep their favorite “stuff” in your refrigerator. When sex is over, you leave. No hanging around for snacks, watching a movie or small talk.

6)  Plan in advance on breaking up in three months. It’s a long time to maintain such a relationship without emotions creeping in. You can always agree to renegotiate a “different” arrangement.

7)  Time to move on. Whenever either of you want out, that’s it. Not with a bang, but with a whimper. A handshake, peck on the cheek or “let’s keep in touch,” will make it much easier to end it. But if the sex was really spectacular, you can even try to get one more in “for old times sake.”

I love to hear from you. Tell me if you know anything about these Friends with Benefits arrangements. You can always start it with …I read…or I have a friend…Just write your comments in the box below.



Dates from Hell

My book “101 Ways to Stop Hating Dating,” was published in 2007 six years after my divorce. When I first wrote the book, e-books didn’t exist. Now they outsell the printed versions.  The revised and updated version of the book will be released as an E-book shortly.  Ah, technology.

So after a short period of adjustment after the divorce, I decided to start dating to see what the single life was like. Needless to say… I once had an English Professor who said, “Don’t say needless to say, if it is NEEDLESS TO SAY, then why bother saying it. ” But I digress…I think I also had another teacher who said don’t say that either.” Where was I, Oh yes, while I was busy dating, I enjoyed talking about life as a single person with whomever I could find. Interestingly enough, almost everybody who dated had “Dates from Hell” to relate. It was as if they really enjoyed reliving their experiences.  Then it hit me. There are no really funny, helpful, dating books out there written from a man’s perspective. Since females bought over 90% of all dating books, I felt women would love to know what’s going on in a man’s brain, if anything.

After meeting several agents and speaking to a few publishers, I realized they were reading from the same script…”Oh no, not ANOTHER dating book.” I tried very hard to convince them why it should work they then robotically repeated their negative mantra, and it was then I decided to self-publish. I truly enjoyed writing the book and I’m proud to say that people who bought the book got their money’s worth, all three of them. Even the many people who I gave the books to, reducing the quantity stored in my garage, also claimed that is was very helpful and laugh out loud funny.

Now lets turn to today, another 6 years later. I started reading about how successful e-books have become. It would not be much of an investment for me, so I decided to update it and learn to use Social Networking to reach singles.

Now I’m blogging everyday, Tweeting like a madman, Face booking and trying to make the book attract attention via other sites.

Here is my own personal date from hell. I joined dating sites and enjoyed reading what people wrote on their profiles. I always looked for bright and funny. I kind of developed this negative attitude after a while, and shared my disappointment with others. For some reason, people who have online profiles tend to fudge, fabricate, fib, create fiction, misrepresent, deceive, distort, and pretty much engage in bald-faced lies. Didn’t they ever believe in the day of reckoning, when you find out they are not what they claimed to be? I guess not. I saw her picture on and thought she was attractive, tall, slim, great face and smile, with a funny, well written profile. So I short-circuited the process, instead of meeting for a drink, I called up and asked for a date on Saturday night.

I rang her doorbell exactly at 8 pm and a woman opened the door wearing a warm-up outfit dripping with sweat. I said “I thought I was supposed to pick you up at 8?,” and she said, “Oh, you must be Marty, my mom will be right down.” And sure enough a few moments later, the woman who was to be my date came slowly down the stairs, very, very s l o w l y down the stairs and I tried to recall whether the sweaty lady had said mother or grandmother.

I know, I should have yelled “fraud in the inducement,”  turn around and never darken her stairs again. Unfortunately she lived in a large community with tons of single ladies, so rather than potentially ruining my name and reputation, I choose to just get thru the evening.

I held the car door open for her and tried to lighten the obvious tension by telling her a joke. She looked at me for an uncomfortably long time and said “Is that your best joke?” I wish I had an seat eject button, actually for either of us. I took her to an out of the way restaurant. I was lucky to have reserved a booth in the back in the corner in the dark, and we had a nice “romantic’ quickie dinner. Then I drove her right home. By this time her wine began working and although she had her hand in my thigh, I got her home very early. She said “We can go dancing or back to your place,” but I told her I always wanted to be a doctor and I have to take my medical boards tomorrow very early. She was so shocked by the absurdity of my statement she finally had nothing to say.

Please tell me about your Dates from Hell by writing in the comment box below.

Thanks for sharing your time with me, hope you had a few good laughs,


Keeping Hillary Honest

Ah, I miss the good old days. Now how many times do you think you’ve heard that great adage in the last few years. I know I’ve not only heard it from others, but I often think it and say it myself. At a later time, we will debate the changes since those good old days, pointing out the contrasting pros and cons of: people’s behavior, scientific discoveries, entertainment, education, world events, sports, the state of business, the government and many other areas.

One of the things I really miss, is the way the news was disseminated back then. Nowadays, we live in a 24/7 news cycle. We have multiple numbers of network news shows, cable news shows, radio news shows, newspapers, magazines, blogs, tweets, and many other types of social media constantly bombarding us with news AND lots of politically influenced commentary. Much of it is not only politically incorrect, but a huge majority significantly slants left or right.

The old days had solid, serious, non-political anchor men and reporters, who honestly told us what happened in our world that day. They were enormously respected by the American public. Every weekday evening, these giants of broadcast news came into our home to honestly and fairly report the news. Most Americans watched the evening news usually at 6 to 6:30P.M. In my opinion, todays so called news shows, or print stories, either lie to us, lean left, lean right, or leave out important facts, which heavily influences people to more strongly align with their own political interests.

I miss the truth. I kinda got used to trusting the newscasters of the 50’s and 60’s, not so today. Same thing for me with politicians. I have a knee-jerk response when I hear the word politician, and that is “follow the money.” Maybe I’m jaded, but I’m certain the hundreds of lobbyists (each earning approximately I million dollars a year) prowling the halls of Congress are very effective buying political votes for their clients. The only honorable thing the politicians do, is when they get “goodies” to guarantee their vote, they actually vote the way they promised. By following the money, you recognize that the primary goal of these Congressmen/women is to get re-elected. Should the members of the House of Representatives, who have to run for election every two years, care ONLY for their district and it’s voters, or should the problems of all the other Americans have any bearing on their votes in the House of Representatives?

House Foreign Relations Committee Hearing On Secretary of State Nominee John Kerry

Every four years when we have a Presidential election. I get excited because I feel the person I voted for will win and live up to their campaign promises, and then we will all live happily ever after. Not so fast! Unfortunately things happen, lingering wars flare up, almost daily we have an international crisis or two, a weather tragedy, but a constant, is the total lack of cooperation from the opposing party, which effectively renders the President powerless. That pretty much sums up where we are today. On Obamas first day in office, Mitch McConnell, the Senate minority leader from the GOP, stood at the rostrum and vowed that he and his party will do anything and everything within their power to make sure President Obama does not succeed. Not only is that statement absolutely unacceptable and outrageous, it is totally un-American.

We as a nation have a great history of bi-partisanship, whereby both parties work together to thrash out required legislation. But you can’t negotiate by yourself if the other side constantly says NO, even if the subject was originally their idea. The GOP created the Romney Health Care Plan. It started slowly and had some problems getting started, but eventually it turned into the medical plan that the residents in Massachusetts enjoy today. Obamacare was patterned after Romney care, but it was vehemently rejected by the entire GOP from the time it was voted into law, well before it was even scheduled to be implemented, even though it was their idea in the first place.

The implementers who are responsible for making Obamacare work, have made a mess of the situation, embarrassing the President and his team. The major victims are the unfortunate folks who have lost their insurance coverage and cannot even get thru to the web site to have questions answered, and have their healthcare problems solved. It’s a huge blunder of gigantic proportions and it may taint Obama’s legacy forever.

This blog is much longer than I anticipated. You’ll notice that the point I was going to eventually make, as hinted at in the blogs title, hasn’t yet been discussed. So thanks for allowing me to get some nagging things off my chest and let’s get into the question at hand.

 .HillaryElizabeth2016we want you

At the onset, let me clarify what the title meant. Hillary Clinton appears to have a huge lead and an easy path to the presidency in 2016. But just like the very similar position she enjoyed in 2008, a challenger has appeared on the horizon which may make the Democratic Party’s nominating process very interesting. Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts have been receiving glowing media coverage for her tough stances on the financial markets and her recent Social Security challenge to Congress. Although as of today, any thoughts of an Elizabeth Warren challenge to Hillary is somewhat far fetched, perhaps it would be exciting and very informative for the women to engage in a political discussion. We may have to wait to see it, and I’m rooting for it to eventually happen.

When a candidate has a huge lead, like Hillary had in 2008, the best strategy is to play it safe. Don’t take a position on any issue, because the down side is alienating voters who disagree with your stance. We need Hillary to prove to the American electorate that she is worthy of being President. It’s not only her wonderful resume that matters, (some media people say she is the” most qualified person” to ever run for the Presidency), her positions on specific issues also are significant. The title of this blog asking to make Hillary “honest,”  simply means to challenge her in a debate to find out where she stands on major issues. The way the media is running towards Elizabeth Warren, they have already chosen the format and the moderator for the debate between these two extremely competent women, neither of whom has even declared that they are running.

We’ll have to wait three years until the next Presidential election, and probably close to two years before we find out who is actually running.  I think it will be fascinating, now that the media has jumped on the Warren for President bandwagon, how much ink and tongue wagging will be spent dissecting the Democratic Race of 2016. Both women are very capable, and we will hear all about their similarities and differences in the weeks and the months ahead.

I know as a news junkie, my eyes and ears will be pealed reading and listening to whatever is mentioned about this exciting upcoming race.  Stay tuned, I will keep you informed.

Love to hear any input you have about this story. Please put your comments in the comment box below.


Marty Savarick

Pro Footballs Big Headache

Recently, there has been lots of media coverage of several former, and a few recent football players, who are suffering from long term neurological effects of collision causing concussions. The fancy medical name for it is chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), which can cause memory loss, severe headaches, psychosis, depression, and unusually high rates of Lou Gehrig’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, Dementia, and Alzheimer’s.

Concussion head injury

After many months of negotiation, last week the National Football League agreed to pay 765 million to the plaintiffs, avoiding a protracted AND very embarrassing court case over the dangers of playing America’s most popular sport.

Perhaps on the surface it may seem like the players won by getting all that money, but let’s take a look at all the details and see who really came out ahead.

The class-action suit represented 4,500 players who sued over the leagues handling of head trauma. The lawyers were attempting to prove that the league had covered up what it knew about long term brain damage caused by the frequent concussions these jocks suffered playing football. Compounding the case, many players were pressured to return to the field of play way too soon after suffering brain trauma.

The players, as the plaintiffs in the suit, accepted $170,000 each to settle the case. “In essence, the league won,” said Peter King in Sports Illustrated. Most experts predicted a settlement of several Billion; this sum is a drop in the bucket of the leagues 9.5 Billion annual revenue, working out to about $30 million per team. Getting off so easily will certainly help NFL owners “sleep better at night.”

It’s hard, though, to blame the ex-players for taking a settlement, said Scott Fujita, a former NFL linebacker, in the New York Times. Many of the 4500 players are incapacitated by brain damage and are struggling to pay crippling medical and nursing bills, and now they’ll get some badly needed money. If they took the case to trial, it probably would have dragged on for a decade or more, by which time many of the plaintiffs would be dead.

While researching this story I also read and listened to some other interesting observations about the situation;

Someone said they felt sorry for the “small percentage of players” who suffered lasting brain damage, but these guys knew what they were getting into when they signed up to play a violent sport. No one forced them to take the multi million dollar contracts.

One sports blogger claimed he believed that most players thought they would at most  be risking broken bones and damaged joints, since the brain trauma risks was way under reported.


Nowadays, players are bigger, stronger, and faster than their counterparts. Andy Robustelli, a former New York Giant defensive lineman, played at 5’10” and under 200 lbs. Nowadays the kickers who face little or no contact are often bigger than that. So when a 250 lb. linebacker or an agile 350lb. lineman hits a running back or receiver running downfield at full speed, the sudden stop causes both players to have their brains crash into their skulls. Damage occurs, and over time, it becomes cumulative.

Many football fans love the violence in the game. Although most fans have seen the stammering former players complaining about headaches, fading memories, and frequent thoughts of suicide, These same fans scream like banshees and roar like lions when they watch a bone crunching tackle that leaves enemy opponents writhing on the field, awaiting the stretcher.

I wonder if the $170,000 per man settlement is an aberration, or will it set the standard for permanently damaged future players. Subsequent victims might opt for a stand alone case, or with a class-action group, and wait for the court to decide what is the jury’s determination regarding justice.

I guess I was ahead of my time, when my son, who is now 28, wanted to play football at 12. His mother and I talked it over, and we agreed that it was too dangerous to be subjected to permanent injury. He still gave us many nerve-wracking moments when we watched him play basketball and soccer very aggressively. I knew then, and I certainly know now that we made the right decision about playing football. Just last week Bob Costas said he wouldn’t allow his son to play football, joining several other respected, thoughtful, caring, parents. I believe this trend will continue.

If you would be so kind, at the end of each blog, at the bottom of the page, there is a place to “leave a reply.” By you leaving a comment, you will encourage others to respond and a very welcomed dialogue could possibly ensue, bringing attention to that particular blog (it gets the word out and expands my coverage). Thank you and I appreciate your effort.


Which is the Best Religion?

Marty, don’t touch Religion or Politics with a ten-foot pole. My friends and “advisors” cautioned me that “you will divide your followers in half…if you’re lucky.” But I have the “faith” that you will recognize that I’m only a storyteller, and will simply be reporting my observations. No proselytizing. I know my efforts would be wasted, and you would lose respect for me, if I ever attempted to change you.

Bill Maher had a talk show called “Politically Correct.” It ran from 1993 to 1997 on Comedy Central  and on ABC TV from 1997 to 2002. He had to break every 10 minutes or so for commercials. His shows were limited by not only lack of continuity, but the improper use of profane language. In spite of his combining cutting edge characters (he mixed show business people with political ones), his show was nominated very often and won several awards.

I watched his show regularly. Maher was good at it, asking provocative questions and creating a stimulating mix of outspoken characters. One particular show stands out in my memory; Maher invited four relatively well known religious leaders to debate the  merits of their particular religion. He invited a Catholic Priest, A black Baptist Minister from the South, a Rabbi, and a Muslim Cleric. They were sitting on stools in a semicircle. Maher said this show will be different, he will allow them to speak freely, taking turns, and not asking any questions himself or interrupting, except for those required commercials. The show went very smoothly, the panelists respected each other and equally shared the allotted time. At the end of the show, Bill Maher got off his stool, shook hands and thanked them for being on the show and how well they conducted themselves. But his shocking final words still stick in my mind, and probably will forever. He said,” Gentlemen, you know what you really are? You are all accidents of birth.” Pointing to the Priest, Minister and Rabbi he said,” If you were born 10,000 miles to the east, you would be spreading your prayer shawls on the ground, five times a day, facing Mecca and praying for Allah to destroy the infidels”. It was as if time had stood still. It was such a shocking statement to men of faith, that these usually verbose men were at a loss for words. It was reported later that all three agreed with Maher. They confirmed that it does matter where you are born. It also matters how well your parents, grandparents and teachers convinced you of the superiority of their family’s faith, so that you become committed for life, no questions asked, just pure blind reassuring faith.


Many years earlier when I was a freshman in college, and living a large dormitory, I spent many Sunday mornings going to different Church’s with fellow dorm mates. I guess my curiosity took over and I created my own, (non-accredited), Comparative Religion course. I found the differences quite fascinating, and I have always been very curious about the depth of peoples faith, or lack thereof, perhaps just going thru the motions, for their spouse or children.

Please comment about this blog. I would love to hear from you to let me know what type of blog you prefer reading.

Thank you,


Calling Dr. Strangelove


Dr. Strangelove poster

If you never heard of Dr. Strangelove, let me tell you a little bit about him. He was one of the three characters the late, great, Peter Sellers played in the 1964 black comedy, “Dr. Strangelove or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.”

In an underground bunker somewhere out West, the Russian Ambassador was invited to speak to the American President (also played by Sellers) and his war advisory cabinet. The Ambassador grudgingly admited that the Russians have created a “Doomsday Device” that includes 50 buried Nuclear Missiles that are aimed at us. If they detect any American Nuclear attack directed at their country, their missiles will automatically retaliate. He claimed the Russians built it because one staff person read in the New York Times that America has been working on such a device. The President address’s Dr. Strangelove, his Nazi Nuclear advisor, about how to solve the dilemma we’re facing. The heavily accented advisor brilliantly says, ” A doomsday device would only be successful as a deterrent if everybody knew about it.” SPOILER ALERT, for those of you who are going to rent the movie because you haven’t seen it or forgot how it ends, here comes the ending, so skip to the next paragraph. The American captain of a runaway B-52 bomber, flying relatively low over southern Russia to avoid detection, realizes he is out of fuel and will crash momentarily. He manages to open the bomb bay doors and jumps on the Nuclear bomb waving his cowboy hat as he rides it down over Moscow. We then watch the credit roll to the sound track of “We will all go together when we go.” Truly a classic, and the blackest of black comedies.

Unfortunately in the real world, we and the Russians developed such Nuclear overkill that a chilling  phrase spread worldwide in the 1950’s to define the situation, M.A.D. or Mutually Assured Destruction.

We and the Russians have lived with these aging devastating weapons for about 60 years. At least 5 other nations (that we are certain of so far) have joined “the Nuclear club” further complicating and compromising the safety of humanity.

B&W nuclear bomb

Recently, investigative reporters and book authors have discovered the SCARY truth. The world has come very close to nuclear catastrophe’s many times, often because of the mishandling of American Bombs and warheads.

Matthew Price of Newsday said that Eric Schlosser’s book “Command and Control: Nuclear Weapons, the Damascus Accident, and the Illusion of Safety,” “is the most edifying and frightening” book he has read this year. I hope you’re sitting down because I’m going to quote some staggering numbers of near tragedies that could have easily  killed many millions. Schlosser reported that between 1950 to 1968 alone, at least 1,200 nuclear weapons were involved in accidents. For instance, in 1961, a bomb 250 times as deadly as the one dropped on Hiroshima, fell from a B-52 aircraft that broke apart near Goldsboro, N.C. It would have detonated if not for one fragile safety switch that worked, the other three failed. Another frightening scenario took place in 1980 when a falling socket wrench punctured the skin of a Titan II missile in Damascus, Arkansas, causing an explosion that tossed the nuclear warhead 200 yards out of its silo. We lucked out again, because if that ticking bomb had detonated, much of Arkansas would have been leveled, not to mention the air-borne radiation that would spread and killed countless others. In addition, America’ s much acclaimed detention system had mistaken a flock of birds as an imminent soviet attack, on more than one occasion.

How long can we, and other nuclear club members, count on just plain dumb luck to save humanity?

Since we are counting our lucky stars for saving us from a nuclear holocaust, how about a big hand for Vasili Arkhipov. Vasili was a soviet submarine naval officer during the 1962 Cuban missile crisis. When the world teetered on the brink of World War III, he was a voice of sanity. Recent accounts reveal how close his besieged crew came to unleashing a nuclear missile that was aimed at the southern United States and how Arkhipov prevailed on his peers to hold fire. There must be so many similar circumstances and near misses that we can only speculate about.

Since we cannot bring Dr. Strangelove back (from fiction) to help solve our ongoing MAD situation, we can only hope and pray that wiser heads prevail, and the world disarms to save humanity.

Please take a moment to send a short note about this blog, and to let me know what subject matters interest’s you.